I Love Naked People
by PokeyDotes
Summary: A series of drabbles based off of a stranger's random saying of "I love naked people." Reid will most likely be in all of them.
1. Chapter 1

Despite the incessant whir and occasional screech of the ancient air conditioner, Reid continues to sort through the numerous photos scattered across the small table in front of him. An hour earlier, three policemen had carried in five large boxes, four of which contained hundreds of photographs that Wyatt Gelski had taken or collected over the span of three decades.

Reid is halfway through the second box, trying to distinguish whether or not the photo is relevant in helping find where the unsub could be hiding. None of the photos recovered so far had shown evidence of Wyatt Gelski's crimes. However, knowing that Gelski had chosen previous locations to abduct or dispose of women based on where the photos within his collection were taken, Reid continues to sort the seemingly random pictures of models, landscapes, and weddings into seven different piles.

After realizing the sorting system that Reid's using could only make sense to Reid, Hotch decides to get out of the younger man's way, choosing to sort through the various notebooks in the fifth box that had accompanied the photos.

Apart from the sound of the air conditioner, the two men continue in silence, Hotch occasionally looking up to watch Reid sort through the photos at a pace that, had Hotch not known the younger man, would appear as thought Reid wasn't even looking at the photos. The quick dart of an eye is the only evidence that Reid's even looking at the photos.

Both men jump when the shrill ring of Reid's phone overpowers the whir of the AC unit. Reid quickly pulls the phone out of his pocket, glances at the caller ID, and sits it on the table after putting it on speakerphone.

"Hey, Garcia. Did you find anything?"

"I love naked people. They're so…natural." Reid and Hotch look at one another. While both are use to Garcia's eccentric personality, she still manages to catch them off guard from time to time.

Casting a questioning look towards Hotch, Reid clears his throat before responding. "Okay?"

"Okay? Is that all you have to say?" Her voice has a mocking tone to it. Hotch smirks, but otherwise chooses to remain quiet. He looks to Reid waiting for his response.  
>Reid furrows his brow, confusion written clearly on his face. "I don't really know what else to say to that?"<p>

"Well, you could agree with me." Reid can picture the colorful technical-analyst twirling a pen, smiling ear-to-ear at his discomfort. He can feel his face begin to flush, knowing both Hotch and Garcia are waiting for a response. Several seconds pass in uncomfortable silence, before Garcia sighs in frustration.

"Congratulations, Dr. Reid. I believe you've just helped me discover a new level of awkwardness."

Taking pity on Reid, Hotch decides to interject. "Garcia." His stern tone lets her know to get the point. "Well, my Mr. Miyagi, it just so happens that our unsub has an affinity for the less-than-fully clothed, as well. It's all over his computer."

Reid chews on the inside of his cheek as he listens to Hotch's response. "You mean porn?"

"No, this is classy. No 'full-frontals' or anything, just…classy nudity." Hotch smirks when he sees the confused look on Reid's face. "Okay, Garcia. What does this have to do with anything?"

Both men can tell that she's smiling by the sound of her voice. "I thought you'd never ask. I was looking through the computer, like you asked, and I found lots and lots of pictures of naked people, but nothing really unusual, you know? BUT, me being me, I decided to take a second look before I threw in the metaphorical towel." She takes a short breath before continuing. "Each picture has one imperfection. Just one tiny spot about the size of a stamp that isn't crystal clear."

Reid looks up at Hotch, hoping he can explain what she's talking about, but is disappointed when he sees Hotch's brow furrowed in confusion. "And…?"

"_And_…" She proceeds to explain how those little spots contain hidden data that lead to secret files, revealing secret scrapbooks of all of Gelski's crimes. "He may have played it old-school with stuff he didn't mind people seeing, but he's all kinds of tech savvy when it comes to the secret stuff."

"Garcia, send me all of the sites you've found so far." Hotch stands and pulls his phone out of his pocket as he walks out of the room, leaving Reid alone in the room.

Reid reaches and closes the phone, effectively ending the call. He's about to slide the phone back in his pocket when it begins to ring again. Confused as to why Garcia would be calling back so soon, Reid slowly brings the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Why'd you hang up on me?"

He can't tell if she's joking or not. "I thought you were finished," he answers honestly, a slight hint of embarrassment in his tone.

"Well, I wasn't. Do you want to see 'em?"

"See what?"

"The naked people." She laughs when he begins to stutter a response. "Reid, sweetie, chill. I'm just messing with ya. You're too cute not to."

"Actually, Garcia, nudity has been used in art by almost every culture for the last 3,000 years. Statues as old as…"  
>"Reid, I get it. I'm not the first one to appreciate the human body. I was just trying to see if I could float your boat."<p>

"My boat?" Reid asks as Hotch walks back into the room.  
>"Never mind. Call if you need anything." Reid returns the phone to his pocket as Hotch retakes his seat opposite Reid before asking, "You have a boat?"<p>

"What? No." Hotch decides to let the issue drop, and is about to resume his searching through the notebooks when Reid turns and asks, "Hotch, who is Mr. Miyagi?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Not sure what I think about it, but I love the character interactions on the show and I wanted to write something along those lines.**

**Mr. Miyagi is the mentor from _The Karate Kid_, the original one, not the new one.**

**There may or may not be more installments to this: BUT if there are, it will be completely unrelated to this one; a new chapter with different scenarios, but based around the line "I love naked people, they're so natural." (see my profile page for an explanation).**

**If you have an idea or suggestion, let me know. Also, if you wanted to share what you thought about this little drabble, that would be nice.**


	2. What's Not to Love?

He takes a tentative step onto the sand, feeling it shift beneath his weight. He squints his eyes despite the fact that he's wearing sunglasses. The sand, bleached white from the salty air and eternal sun, reflects the bright rays, causing his already tired eyes to ache.

He had already had the beginnings of a slight headache before the drive to the private resort. The long, mountainous roads had not helped. Although this headache promises to be nothing more than an annoying companion throughout the investigation and not a full-blown migraine, he still feels the need to hide any discomfort from the woman standing beside him.

Reid lets his eyes slowly adjust as a cloud temporarily passes over the sun, allowing a welcoming shade to encompass the small patch of beach near the resort's main office. He can feel Emily standing beside him, the silent hum of a familiar tune escaping her, distorting her otherwise stoic stance as they wait for the resort's manager.

Looking out over the beach, Reid counts twelve people lying beneath the sun, each wearing swimsuits too small to be seen in detail from the measured distance. Just as many people appear to be in the water, each too busy with their own pleasures to take notice that two of their fellow vacationers had disappeared nearly twelve hours ago.

He's watching a pair of resort employees assemble a volleyball net when the manager finally emerges from the brightly colored building. "Hi, you must be the FBI, right? I spoke with a Miss Garcia on the phone. I'm Elizabeth Todd, you can just call me Liz."

Emily reaches out, meeting the woman's extended hand. "Special Agent Emily Prentiss, This is Dr. Spencer Reid," she nods her head, indicating Reid who responds to his introduction with a nod of his own, shyly waving his hand before letting it find it's way back to the safety of his pocket.

Liz smiles warmly, all the professionalism of someone with years of experience in the personal service business shining through. "I was told you would want to see their condo. You're more than welcome to, but the police have already searched through it."

Reid nods his head, briefly casting his eyes towards the ground before looking up as he attempts to explain that they aren't looking for the same things the state police would have. "We understand that, but we're not…" his sentence suddenly cuts off when a woman in her mid-twenties exits the small building next to the manager's office.

She walks by them, about four feet away, not even recognizing that they're there. She has a volleyball balanced in her hands, slowly spinning it between her palms. She's just over five feet tall, bleach blonde hair pulled back in a high ponytail. She's fit, the lean muscles of an athlete gracefully carrying her across the beach. The soft, sun-kissed tone of her skin is made brighter by her pale yellow bikini bottoms; the strings holding them on accented with dark brown beads.

Reid didn't notice any of this. Not because his attention was elsewhere; no, he had noticed her the moment she stepped through the sport shed's wooden door. He hadn't noticed any of the blond beach-goer's characteristic beauty because he couldn't make his brain move past the fact that she wasn't wearing the matching, pale yellow bikini top he's almost certain would have come with the bottoms.

He turns his head sharply to Emily, hoping to see that she notices the topless volleyball player, too. Although her oversized sunglasses hide her eyes from his view, he can tell by the small gap in her mouth and her eyebrows shooting up over the top of her sunglasses that Emily sees her, too.

Taking in the shocked appearances on the agents' faces, Liz gives a small smile. "Walden's Cove is a private resort. A private _nudist_ resort." She waves a hand towards the beach and many condos. "All clothing is optional outside of the main building," she explains, preparing to defend the resort and it's patrons' rights.

Reid looks back at the beach once again, realizing that the once barely existent swimsuits were in actuality non-existent. Slightly flustered, he turns back towards Emily and the manager, not quite sure where to look. He feels his headache start to worsen due to the excess blood now flooding his face as he blushes. He knows that Garcia had researched this place. She had been able to tell them who owned it, how long it's been open, and how many people on average visited the resort. He'd be willing to bet money that at some point, the website had mentioned that in addition to ten tennis courts, a private beach, and grand ballroom that clothing was _optional_.

Thinking back, Reid knew that her smile had too closely resembled that of the Cheshire cat's when Hotch had said that he and Emily were to check out the resort. Now he knows why.

Emily composes herself from her brief moment of shock. She quickly straightens her posture before asking Liz about the condo, choosing to ignore the fact that both her and Reid were obviously surprised by the resort's preferences.

Liz leads the way, walking past the now assembled volleyball net towards the line of condos on the opposite end of the beach. Emily starts walking behind Reid, noticing that his head is angled down. Normally, she would have thought that it was just so he can watch where he's walking, but she knows that he's doing it to avoid looking at the large group of young women now gathered around the net.

The same blond who had brought the clothing optional rule to their attentions smiles when she sees them walking by. Taking the volleyball in one hand, she tosses it in the air, and hits it as it falls back down, sending it towards Reid.

She hadn't hit the ball hard, wanting only to get his attention. It makes contact with Reid's leg before falling to the sand. Reid stops and stares at the ball. He bends, picking up the ball before turning towards the girls by the net.

The blond smiles, clapping her hands once before holding them out in front of her, clearly asking for the ball back. When Reid awkwardly tosses her the ball, her smile widens as she rests the ball against her hip. She tilts her head, and asks in an all-too seductive way, "Want to play?"

Emily fights back the smile threatening to break loose at the look of shock peaking out from behind Reid's dark sunglasses. He stutters only once before smiling shyly and shaking his head no. "Um,..I…no, I don't want to play. Thanks, though."

The blond straightens her head, smile still in place. "You can keep your clothes on if you want to. We get that not everyone's comfortable with nudity."

"I don't know why not, I mean it's perfectly natural," a brunette with a rose tattoo encircling her belly button states as she waits for the blond to toss her the ball. She too, smiles at Reid, inviting him to join them. She tosses her long hair over one shoulder, as she brushes the sand from her thigh. "Most people love naked people."

Taking a step towards Reid, Emily grins as she says, "What's not to love." If she hadn't been wearing sunglasses, she would have winked in an effort to make her partner squirm.

Emily fails to keep the laugh subdued when Reid's normally articulate brain fails to form words. When he looks to her, almost pleadingly, she smiles and steps forward, grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him towards Liz and the condos. "Come on, Casanova. We got a job to do."

He doesn't comment on the 'Casanova' remark as he quickens his pace in order to put as much distance between him and the sounds of girls laughing as they bounce a volleyball. He silently reflects on how grateful he is that it's Emily with him and not Morgan. Although, judging by the smile on her face, the incident won't stay a secret from their fellow profiler for long.

Emily doesn't let go of Reid's arm until after several meters are put between them and the net. She lets her professionalism shine through, replacing the amused smile. She knows that if they didn't have a couple to find, she would have loved to push Reid's buttons—teasing him to play with the all too willing girls.

As she waits for Liz to unlock the front door to the condo, she thinks about what Morgan will say, remembering his reaction to Hotch telling them that at one time, no less than six prostitutes had propositioned Reid. She can only imagine his reaction when he learns that a team of nearly nude volleyball players had tried to entice their favorite genius into a game.

**Please R&R,**


End file.
